The Gift of Routine: Finding Grounding During The Holidays
December 1, 2024
Season’s Greetings,
What do the holidays remind you of? For some, it’s a time for gathering with family; for others, it can be a time of grieving and mourning. As we prepare for the season, it can be a magical and challenging time of year. For those adjusting to life without a loved one—whether through recent loss or the anticipation of it—the holidays can feel particularly difficult.
The loss of a loved one, or the expectation of such a loss, is a heavy burden. It’s an adjustment not only for adults but for children as well. When we’ve learned to live our lives with someone—whether through daily conversations or living under the same roof—losing that presence can create a void that’s hard to fill.
Whether you’re facing the loss of a loved one or adjusting to life after, one way to cope is by creating a routine. Both adults and children can benefit from structure during times of change. A routine provides a sense of stability, control, and accomplishment, helping us feel grounded when life feels overwhelming.
Start small by grounding yourself in tasks that rejuvenate you mentally and physically. If you’re not used to routines, that’s okay—be kind to yourself as you work to build one. For example, if you’re currently brushing your teeth once a day, try to make it twice a day. If you’re going outside three times a week, aim for four—weather permitting, of course. Taking these small steps can help restore a sense of normalcy and well-being.
Most importantly, remember to take care of yourself first, then those around you as you navigate this season.
Here’s to a peaceful and fulfilling holiday season for you and yours.
– Chantál
Two Practical Tips for Positive Communication in a Blended Family
October 2024
In 2021, the U.S. Census Bureau reported that 15% of children live in blended families. A blended family forms when two people with children from previous relationships come together, creating a new family unit. This unique family structure often involves merging different personalities, values, and routines, which can present both challenges and opportunities for growth.
Effective communication is crucial in blended families. To foster open and honest communication among family members, hold regular discussions, allowing everyone to feel heard and valued. One practical way to encourage this type of communication is through shared mealtimes. Family dinners provide a relaxed atmosphere where members can bond over food and share their experiences from the day. This time together not only strengthens relationships but also creates a sense of belonging.
Another practical and effective strategy is to utilize car rides as a time for conversation. The intimate space of a car can create comfort and vulnerability, making it easier for children to express their feelings or discuss topics they might be hesitant to bring up in other settings. Whether it’s during the daily commute or a longer road trip, these moments can lead to meaningful discussions that deepen connections.
Additionally, consider holding regular family meetings to discuss important topics, set expectations, and make decisions together. This structured time ensures that everyone’s voice is heard and helps establish a sense of unity within the family.
By prioritizing open communication and creating opportunities for connection through shared meals, car rides, and family meetings, blended families can navigate their unique dynamics more effectively. Every blended family is different, but with effort and understanding, it’s possible to create a safe environment where all members feel valued and loved. Embracing this journey together can lead to stronger bonds and beautiful memories.
– Chantál
Children Grieve Too
September 2024
Like adults, children exhibit both emotional and behavioral signs of loss after a death. These signs may be subtle or masked, and at times, may manifest as unusual behaviors that can be misunderstood by caregivers, including teachers.
Children often lack the skills and tools to express their grief clearly. Furthermore, they may not have appropriate resources and outlets to process the loss, especially when their primary caregivers are also grieving. This can be a difficult time for the family when multiple members of a family have been impacted by the loss, as each family member does not move at the same pace and has been impacted in their unique way.
Some common emotional and behavioral signs in children consist of increased disruption in the classroom, peer relationship problems, uncooperative behavior, and decreased interaction/withdrawal. Some common signs to look for in the home environment include; an increased need for closeness and affection, bedwetting, a need to check in constantly with the caregiver, crying spurts, and decreased interaction/withdrawal.
A Grief Support Group can serve as a powerful outlet for the family to navigate their loss together.
Every Fall, beginning in October, we will offer two grief support groups, one for children and another for adults. We welcome individuals and family members of those who have experienced a loss to join us virtually in a supportive and non-judgmental space for healing on their grief journey.
For more information about our support groups, call/email us or scroll to the Services tab and select Groups and Workshops.
-Chantál
The #1 Reason to Pursue Premarital Counseling
August 2024
When my husband and I decided to tie “the knot”, we immediately pursued premarital counseling.
We grew up in single-parent homes so the odds were against us. I remember feeling excited and relieved when we found our premarital counselor. Then, my fiancé expressed a strong preference for us to have an additional premarital counselor to have a different perspective. I couldn’t believe it and see why we needed not one but two premarital counselors while planning for our wedding but I did it. Why not? I knew nothing about marriage at the time and I’m still learning a whole lot. After about 3 years of adjusting and 9+ more years of being married, I am proud and humbled to say that we’ve been happily married for more than 12 years.
My advice to the engaged and seriously dating is to pursue premarital counseling. The #1 reason to pursue premarital counseling is to start building a solid foundation. Building a solid foundation is crucial because marriage is intended to be a lifetime commitment.
Do yourselves a favor and start marriage planning while you’re wedding planning. There are several topics many couples tend to “shy” away from in marriage, leading to conflict. In premarital counseling, you will address what some people consider to be the “hard” stuff like conflict resolution, finances, sex, religion/spirituality, in-laws, and more.
Set yourselves up early for success and you’ll be forever grateful.
-Chantál
How Much Grace?
July 2024
How do you manage yourself in front of your family when you are at a restaurant and your waiter continuously “drops the ball?”
Do you say something the first time they fall short? Do you let their shortcomings go and extend grace? The truth is, we never know what anyone is going through until they tell us directly, and even if they don’t say anything we need to extend grace because they’re human. The question is, how much grace should be extended?
Deciding what to do in challenging situations may be tricky for some people. Some may think that speaking up for what you need is not right, believing that doing so may hurt the other person’s feelings. Then there are others who wouldn’t hesitate at all to give the other person “a piece of their mind.”
On one warm and sunny day in July, I brunched with family. Our waiter was pleasant and I believe meant well, but they continuously missed the mark throughout our dining experience. We wondered what was going on. We even encouraged them at one point by saying “ You got it!” But, there was one shortcoming after another.
Finally, we asked for the manager and we respectfully expressed our disappointment. The manager was understanding and receptive to what we had to say. We were grateful and concluded that we would never eat at that restaurant again.
A child in our group didn’t think we needed to say anything at all and they assumed the worst. They said: “ You shouldn’t have said anything. You hurt his feelings.”
Sometimes we need to stand up for ourselves, and it’s okay to do so.
Do so respectfully and with character to have a positive impact on the people around you, especially the child watching. Sometimes these moments are teachable for everyone involved.
If you are unhappy with something or someone, how much longer will you complain about this?
If you are interested in problem-solving ways to approach an issue differently, we offer free consultations and individual and family counseling. Our hours are Monday-Friday 9 am- 6:30 PM. Summer hours vary.
-Chantál
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They Had A Strong Bond…
June 2024
I remember learning about the Mackaw bird recently when I visited the Zoo. There were two of them, a brother and sister. They were beautiful and sitting pleasantly in place. They had the ability to talk and appeared to have a strong bond. But they lacked one important skill, they didn’t know how to fly. The Zoo staff informed me that they were never taught to fly as babies, so they could not fly. Their parents were not around. I was a bit shocked and sad for the birds.
Thankfully, as humans, we don’t need to be taught all skills as babies. But there are some things we all benefit from learning as babies and in early childhood that make a huge difference in our life. Be kind to your child and they will be kind to themselves and others. Be a responsible parent and your child will feel secure and learn responsibility.
As parents we’re called to serve in many roles. One of them is the role of teacher. What will you teach your child today?
If you are interested in learning strategies to bond with your child, join our “Building Strong Bonds- A Workshop for Parents on Connecting with Their Children” Starting July 8, 5:15-6:30 PM and July 31, 7-8:15 PM.
-Chantál
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Mental Health Awareness…Every Month
May 2024
Since 1949, May has been recognized as Mental Health Awareness month. What does Mental Health Awareness mean to you
Stop for a moment and consider this.
For me, mental health awareness is about a collective of things. It means enhancing my mental health through connecting with colleagues in the field, exercising outdoors more, learning new clinical techniques, and hearing inspirational messages from survivors of all types.
Were you aware that the color green is associated with Mental Health Awareness Month? Spending time outdoors in a green space is said to reduce stress and anxiety. Who doesn’t want that? Stop for a moment and consider the behaviors and moods of other people when the weather is bright and sunny. Most people would rather be outdoors enjoying nature than indoors.
If you are struggling with anxiety and or mild to moderate depression, seek professional help. We understand counseling services can be costly. This is why we accept most major insurances and EAP benefits, because we want you to have access to our services. Check with your insurance company and employer to ask about the coverage you have and to ask about an EAP benefit. Further, we’re excited to announce that we will have evening appointment availability this June and July. Call us for a free consultation.
Although May has been Mental Health Awareness month, I encourage you to bring mental health awareness to yourself and the world each and every month. Wishing you a peaceful remainder of the year.
-Chantál